I went to a Catholic grade school where I sported strawberry blonde pigtails and freckles, both of which complimented my blue plaid jumper uniform with a white short sleeved blouse and shorts underneath for the days I beat the boys in the 50-yard dash.
The only problem with this little Catholic school picture of perfection is that I didn’t look like anyone else. I wasn’t traditionally ‘cute.’ I was taller than everyone else in my class, including all the boys, and I didn’t know how to giggle at something that wasn’t funny. I was the only one with red hair and freckles and was always the last one to be picked for a team.
It was painful but the worst part was when one girl, Terry, had a birthday party and invited every single person in our class except me and my one friend. Today, this seems so trivial but that experience taught me that I wasn’t worthy for the next 40 years. I always felt as though I wasn’t good enough, wasn’t athletic enough, wasn’t pretty enough, or popular enough. That is a lot of not be enough!
It’s amazing how those experiences in life can create the story you tell for years and years. And, because we aren’t ‘enough’ we continually apologize for our shortcomings. As a matter of fact, I used to apologize so often, I was offended if someone didn’t apologize to me! And usually, I would find a way to say I was sorry on their behalf! Oh please!!! Ladies, let’s all say it together! We are awesome! We are amazing! We are enough! We are worthy! And on the days, when you just can’t get that mantra out of your own lovely heart, lean on a girlfriend and ask them to help you say it out loud. Those are the days you need it the most.
The best way I have found to get over this ‘not enough phenomena’ is to write down 50 Fabulous things about yourself and make multiple copies of it. You can write anything you like such as you love how you look in jeans, you have an amazing smile, you are good at helping friends in need, you have an eye for design, you can clean a house to rivel Mary Poppins or anything else that comes to mind. Here is the thing. You will be tempted to stop after 10, 15 or even 25 items. You will think there aren’t more. This is when you need to activate your superpower of being enough and pull out another 25 or 30 Fabulous things about yourself. If you really can’t think of any others, ask your sister, your friend, your mom or even your kids or spouse. I am sure with the right fan base, you will come up with far more than 50. And, if you don’t have anyone in your life right now, you have your sisters at W.I.N. Reach out. We are all in this world together. And, I believe you are ENOUGH!
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Sincerely,
Karen Schaefer
Founder of W.I.N.; the Women’s Wealth and Impact Network
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